When I Grow Up, I want to be just like her...

A few evenings back, Cara and I were in my bathroom, and I was straightening her hair for school the next day. While were together having a true mother/daughter experience, Cara began asking me questions.

Cara is very inquisitive and smart. She's always interested in more information than the basic "yes" or "no" answer.

So, as we were getting her all primped, she asked me, "Mom, who's your mentor?"

Cara is 11. Her thoughts run deep, and her questions are often challenging; however, it was not hard for me to answer this particular question.

My response to Cara was, "Nana is my mentor." Hands down... there is no doubt, no need to think about the answer to that question...

Cara's follow-up was "Why is she your mentor?" I went on to explain:

My mom loves Jesus. She is forgiving, loving, patient and kind -- to everyone. Mom is gentle, not easily provoked to anger and is filled to overflowing with her love for her family.

God blessed me with such a mom as this... My mom is now not only my mom, but she is my friend. She is a woman that people of all shapes, sizes, hearts, colors, races, ages, etc. are drawn to. Her friendship is infectious and undemanding. She holds no grudges. Her desire is to serve the Lord with gladness.

In doing so, Mom, is a magnet. People are drawn to her without even knowing why sometimes.

Several years ago in a small group Bible study, we were challenged to bring a friend to the table of communion. Mom and I were in the same group with 6 or 8 other women.

Naturally, when the challenge was posed, I knew that I would choose my mom; however, when the other women also chose Mom, I was, at first, jealous.

Quickly, though, I saw tangible evidence of how other women see her -- young, middle-aged, older, etc... her love for others transcends all.

Mom, in turn, took us all to the table of communion. We circled around and blessed one another.

I do believe that it was in that very moment that I became overwhelmed by my love for her. I was so proud and humbled to be her daughter.

I can only pray that my own daughters will see even a glimpse of my mom in me. She is truly my mentor, my friend and MY mom!

When I grow up, I want to be just like her!

That's What Friends are for...

Do you remember the 1986 hit, "That's What Friends Are For?" The song was originally recorded by Rod Stewart in 1982 and later covered by Dionne Warwick and Friends in 1985. In January 1986, it was #1 for 4 weeks on Billboard's Top 100.

The chorus says:

"Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for"

I mention the song mostly because of an incident from yesterday that I will elaborate on in a minute, but I also mention the song because of its lyric.

Friends are for counting on in the good and bad times. That is what friend's are for. Of course, we do fail as friends, but ultimately, we choose our friends based on his or her ability to love us for who we are.

Sometimes these friends are our spouses, our school mates, our parents or even our children. Sometimes these friends are all of the above.

I don't parent in the style of a "best buds" mentality, but I am flattered that any of my children would consider me a friend because, ultimately, when it's age appropriate, I want to be less a parent and more a friend. Anyway, I digress...

The point here really is my story from yesterday.

Eliza was sitting at the kitchen bar working on her homework. She had become very frustrated and teary-eyed over her math problems. Cara was also in the kitchen and observed the whole incident.

I offered to help Eliza, and she accepted. Her main problem was not having enough room to "show her work" on her worksheet. My suggestion was to use a separate sheet of paper to show her work and turn that in with her worksheet.

She really did need the extra paper to see what she was doing as it involved subtraction, borrowing and carrying on 4 digit numbers top and bottom. Each number in the figure required a borrow and a carry... lots of work.

My extra paper suggestion seemed to help at first, but then she fell apart afraid that it would not be acceptable to her teacher which is not true. However, it was true enough for Eliza that she could no longer accept my help, and I could no longer give it.

We were both totally frustrated, and she was in tears.

Cara, in her wonderful mother/sister voice, chimed in and asked Eliza if she would like her to help. Eliza said yes.

Cara explained that when she was in 3rd grade, math was hard for her to grasp at first. She explained that doing your work on a separate sheet of paper helped a lot (sounds familiar).

Then... she suggested that Eliza STAPLE her work to her worksheet. Well, that was the glue that sealed the deal... stapling was the key to success!

Eliza's eyes dried. She sat up straight and listened to Cara explain how to neatly write her problems on the page, do the figuring, and then transfer the answers to her worksheet.

Cara saved the day for me and for Eliza.

Eliza finished and left the kitchen. I turned to Cara and said, "Thank you so much, honey. You were a huge help. You were able to explain what I couldn't in a way that Eliza totally got. Thank you!"

Cara put her arms around my waist, looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said, "That's what friends are for!"

Yes, indeed. That is what friends are for...